Before marrying my sweet husband, or even expecting to be married at nineteen, I was positive I wanted to dedicate my life to mission work globally. I have seen the poverty in the streets of developing countries and visited the homes of families, who lived just down the street on the small island I lived on in high school, who can’t pay their electric bill let alone feed their families. As newlyweds, we are not not where we would “like” to be financially. And we may never be because of working in ministry. But it sometimes punches me right in the face: we are so glutinously wealthy.
Today I had one of those meetings with Jesus where by the end I was frantically texting my husband at work about how I was ready to sell everything we own and move to the jungle or the islands or overseas to minister to His people. I am so ready, Jesus! I want to be full of Him and emptied of this world. Working in high end fashion and wanting every two hundred dollar blouse and grossly overpriced soy candle we get in shipments daily go hand in hand. I need to fight my flesh on an hourly basis to avoid getting swept away in this flood of selfishness. But Jesus is so faithful to remind me that even though the things of this world are beautiful, they are so worthless compared to His eternal glory.
David and I are actively and continually fighting to run hand-in-hand toward God’s will for our lives together – to the ends of the earth and right here. Wherever Jesus calls us in the future, I am so happy I get to serve Jesus right now on the mission field that is Miami Beach – the war zone that is the streets of this city. He has placed us here for such a time as this, until He takes us to our next mission.
I am restless.
My travel skins are itching and I am dying to scratch them! We have already been blessed with some amazing opportunities to travel this year and I am wildly grateful for the opportunity to spread my wings.
I am so thankful for our church family. These sweet people have taught me so much about seeking Jesus daily, furthering His Kingdom, and the role community has in the Gospel. I can’t even begin to express how grateful I am that God placed us in a congregation that has so much to teach us, and we have so much to learn. Thankful, thankful, thankful.
Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit.” Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. Instead, you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that.” James 3:13-15
I’ve been battling the feeling of insignificance. David and I are, in just a few short months, going to become parents. This is all I have wanted for so long, and I can’t believe this dream is coming true! But as I prepare and nest and dream of my son’s eyes, I feel a smallness. Since getting married David and I have had so many adventures, but at 20 years old most of my peers are living big, adventurous stories and I am simply making a home. By c o m p a r i s o n I feel so insignificant. This little life that I have been entrusted with is so precious- I am not taking that for granted. But I can’t help but feel like even though I am being obedient to His plan for my life right now, which is to live simply and watch well over the ways of household (while trying not to eat the bread of idleness- you try that in the 3rd trimester…), I feel like I’m missing out or like others see me as such. Like because I’m not currently traveling the globe, I’m not living. I know these are all lies from the enemy. Jesus has been gently teaching me, reminding me that His glory is not defined by adventurous travels, but faithful obedience. There are heroes who teach kindergarteners how to read, like my mom. Heroes who spend all day nursing their babies, caring for their little ones, cleaning up messes that seem to multiply on their own. Heroes who work normal jobs and go to college and find ways to thrive in the ordinary.
We need to listen to and obey God’s voice.
I’m grateful for this reminder. So that when, in a few months, I’m nursing our son at home, feeling like my life and my story doesn’t matter because I’m not finding myself on flight after flight, I can remember where He has me is significant because it’s where HE has me. It must be about Him.