I’m entering my third trimester this week and while I genuinely love being pregnant and the magic that is growing a human, I am ready for March to come and to have our baby girl here with us. To see her face, know her fully, hold her close.
This pregnancy has gone beautifully, just like my pregnancy with Judah. Besides the occasional aches and pains that come with the territory and the overall exhaustion of having an active toddler while being pregnant, it truly has been a wonderful experience.
But lately, with as wondrous as this experience is and as much as I’m soaking in every somersault she does in my womb and the sweetness of hearing her heartbeat in my midwife’s office, I am struggling with not being ashamed of this growing body of mine. The more I expand to accommodate life, the more guilty I feel. But why? I think as women we have this idea in our heads, that is often projected onto us by others, that when we step into this space of childbearing we ought to look just as we always have (but maybe a bit more “glowy”) just with a cute little bump. Same smooth thighs and toned arms, little to no swelling basically anywhere. Anyone who has experienced a healthy pregnancy will tell you, no matter how amazing you look, your body will never be the same.
I am striving to remember that I am nourishing myself and this sweet girl inside of me, as well as my toddler who still nurses around the clock. I am growing with a purpose. I was chosen by God to carry this baby inside of my body which cannot remain the same, it just expand and change to properly nurture her.