late night thoughts after my babies are in bed

lately i’ve been finding my voice again

like a long-lost friend

like the one who got away

like a companion i never knew i needed

lately i’ve been finding my strength again

i’ve been writing, reading, investing in myself like never before

as it feels like everything is crumbling around me

i also feel myself falling in love with my life again

all of the dirt being washed away

being made new, day-by-day

a newfound love for the things that once set my soul on fire

a remembrance of the girl lying beneath the rubble

i gentle pull her out

i dust her off and begin to clothe her so she doesn’t feel so exposed

i gently reassure her that it will all be okay

she is terrified, but i look into her eyes and remind her that she can only control herself

stop trying to make everyone like you

stop trying to prove yourself

stop lying, stealing, manipulating

you were redeemed by a Savior who had nothing to gain by rescuing your sick soul

go forth and sin no more

you are loved exactly as you are

no need to pretend

there is only love for those who walk in the light

so step out of darkness

and remember the purity of first love

remember the joy of walking through the grass barefoot as a child

remember the embrace of the Father’s arms

you will never be enough, no matter how hard you strive

and it was never meant to be that way

rest in His grace and love


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